Give us this day our daily dose of faux affliction

Forgive our sins

Forged at the pulpit with forked tongues selling faux sermons.

Because I am a new wave gospel sharp, and you'll be thy witness

So gentlemen, if you are going to preach then for God sakes preach 

with conviction!

Strike up the band!

Whoa-oh, the conductor is beckoning

Come congregation, and let's sing it like you mean it

No. Don't you get it, don't you get it? Now don't you move.

Strike up the band!

Whoa-oh, the conductor is beckoning

Come congregation, and let's sing it like you mean it

No. Don't you get it, don't you get it? Now don't you move.

Just stay where I can see you.

Douse the lights!

We sure are in for a show tonight

In this little number we are graced by two displays of character,

We've got: the gunslinger extraordinaire walking contradictions

And I for one can see no blood from the hearts and the wrists 

you allegedly slit

And I for one wont stand for this if this scene were a parish 

you'd all be condemned.

Strike up the band!

Whoa-oh, the conductor is beckoning

Come congregation, and let's sing it like you mean it

No. Don't you get it, don't you get it? Now don't you move.

Strike up the band!

Whoa-oh, the conductor is beckoning

Come congregation, and let's sing it like you mean it

No. Don't you get it, don't you get it? Now don't you, don't you move.

Just stay where I can see you

Douse the lights!

We sure are in for a show tonight

Just stay where I can see you

Douse the lights!

We sure are in for a show tonight

Stay where I can see you

Douse the lights!

Strike up the band!

Whoa-oh, the conductor is beckoning

Come congregation, and let's sing it like you mean it

No. Don't you get it, don't you get it? Now don't you move.

Strike up the band!

Whoa-oh, the conductor is beckoning

Come congregation, and let's sing it like you mean it

No. Don't you get it, don't you get it? Now don't you move.

Don't you move

Don't you move

Strike up the band!